Sid began his medical career in Seattle, Washington about 12 years ago.  He was visiting his friend Mitch after graduation and decided he had enough of the Midwest.  The Pacific Northwest it would be be, and so it was.  Two deciding factors.  One day, he and Mitch were out driving, hoping to see some of the migratory Bald Eagles that visit the Skagit Valley during the winter.  Sid has always had a passion for birds of prey, eagles in particular.  They drove to a bridge that was noted to be a common viewing point.

“OK, we are coming up to it.  I’ve seen them here before and there are always people out around, so this must be one of their favorite places to hang out” Mitch said.

“Cool….  Wait,I think I see some…..Holy shit!  Look at all of ‘em…  There must be at least 2 dozen birds out there!” Sid exclaimed in awe.

They approached the bridge cautiously, stopped the truck and got out.  Their jaws dropped. There must have been at least 30 Bald Eagles perched in the surrounding snow-covered trees.  A vision Sid had only seen in magazines or on TV.  Needless to say, Sid was in heaven.

“Do you remember the first time I saw these guys in the wild up at CSU?  I rented that spotting scope from the biology department, got up at 3am and drove about 2 hours to that lake.  I don’t remember the name.  But the guys at the forestry center said there should be some eagles out there.  I remember I was on this beach looking through the scope in the early light when they would be active on the shoreline.  It was cold and very windy.   I was looking up in this one tree and Pow!  There they were….. 5 or 6 birds. I was so excited to see them. It was like I discovered gold.  But those birds had a flight distance of at least 200 yards.  I chased them around that entire lake…never able to get very close.   But this!  This is amazing!”

Mitch just smiled…..

Factor 2.  An active volcano.

“Hey Mitch, as long as I am here, I think I’ll schedule a couple of job interviews.  I know I have that job lined up back in Chicago, but something says to do it….”

“Hmmm, sounds like a good plan.  It would be good to have you up here in the Great Northwest.”

Within an hour he had 2 interviews all set up for the next day.  It was that easy.

So the next day he was driving across the 520 Bridge when he saw it for the first time.  It was amazing.  A vision that restored any loss of faith in humanity or the world for that matter.  Mt. Rainier stood there, rising out of the water.  Majestic.  Wise.  Beautiful and omniscient.

Case closed.  End of story.  That’s all she wrote.  The Pacific Northwest it would be, and so it was.  Sid interviewed at 3 places and within 2 days he was hired.  He flew back to Chicago, packed his stuff and moved.  I

Seattle was beautiful.  Despite other’s complaints about the rain and weather, Sid enjoyed the mild climate.  He participated in the outdoors and embraced hiking and backpacking.  The notion that there would be well-groomed trails in the pristine wilderness was a new concept to him.  His only regret was that it took him about 28 years to experience nature in this way.

He enjoyed his friends and new life.  He loved his work and developed into a good clinician, but after 5 years he wanted some different opportunities and didn’t feel he could find them at his present job. Or maybe it was just his nature.  A restless feeling.  Regardless, he wanted something new, but wasn’t sure what it looked like.  In a bizarre turn of events, he figured he would head back to Chicago to sort things out.  This actually wound up being about 3 years.  Funny how time can pass so quickly.  As a child it moved so slowly, but as an adult, the years just seem to crash into one another like running water hitting rocks in a river.  Swiftly.  Here now and in the blink of an eye, gone.

While in Chicago he jumped around a bit with keeping busy with a few different contract jobs, until he found a good opportunity working for a company that embraced a similar treatment philosophy that he had developed back in Seattle.

After performing well he was awarded with a position that led him back to Seattle to develop an injury treatment and management program for a large manufacturing company.  During the following 2 years, Sid put in a tremendous amount of time, energy and emotion into this new position.  He built a strong and solid program with positive outcomes and customer satisfaction.  Things were going well and he was also able to advance his companies presence in the Northwest by helping to develop programs for other customers.

But as luck would have it, his company’s owners seemed to be, should we say embellishing the charges to payers, a little fact completely unknown to Sid and middle management.  Upon discovering this, Sid was disillusioned.  His reputation, license and integrity were all at risk.  He decided to resign his position, a painful decision.  He gave notice and agreed to stay on for an additional thirty days.

During this exit period, Sid along with a previous coworker and friend, Martine, approached a Salt Lake City-based company, Wasatch Rehabilitation, to see if they were interested in a new business venture.  Martine had an acquaintance there and thought they would be looking to diversify.  Sure enough, her instincts were right.  After a couple of meetings and interviews, the deal was done.  A new company division was formed.  Martine would manage and direct operations and Sid would develop programs.

Following Sid’s last day, he took off a couple weeks for closure and to clear his head.   He then made the move to Salt Lake City.  He was single and had flexibility.  Martine was rooted with home and family. So she stayed put and worked from her current location.

The drive from Seattle to Salt Lake City was a pretty from Sid’s perspective.  East on I-90 to I-82, through Yakima and Northeast Oregon, to I-84 and Boise, then traveling southeast to I-15 in Utah and onto it’s capital, Salt Lake City, 843 miles total.   Although many told Sid this was a boring drive, he tends to feel that each place has beauty you just have to be open & perhaps willing to see it.  Most people seem to look for traditional and obvious signs of attractive surroundings.  It’s the subtle things that aren’t so apparent at first glance that truly create character, interest and beauty in his opinion.

Sid arrived in Salt Lake without a place to live and spent the first week in a glamorous Super 8 motel while he looked for a permanent residence.  It was suggested that he live in Sugarhouse or the Avenues.  After going up and down the streets in both places, really only a few miles from each other, Sugarhouse located more south,  he found a place in the Avenues.  A large, 1-bedroom located in a 100-year old house was the winner.  The attraction to the Avenues was the trees, not indigenous to the Salt Lake Valley (you may recall the irrigation thing), but certainly added to the charm and character of the neighborhood.

He settled in, buying basic needs, dishes, pots, pans, glasses, a French press, utensils, towels, measuring cups, dish rack, a set of knives, storage containers, garbage cans, shower curtain, towels and the like.  Yes, Sid was Bed, Bath & Beyond’s perfect customer. The place was furnished in the most Spartan fashion.  He had a desk and chair, a bookshelf, futon, reading/lounging chair and some lamps and a coffee-type table.  He had given his 26” television away, a “payment” for help a friend provided back in Washington so, he purchased a 20” version of the same model.  His walls were white and bare for the longest time until he printed some photos he had taken over the years and hung them throughout the place about 7 months later.   Furniture was not a priority and given that he took a pay cut to start this business, he really didn’t want to spend anything on furniture.  A little strange, as Sid actually has a good eye for things has good taste and wanted to create a nice living environment.  His “home” really was not a reflection of whom he was and didn’t really provide comfort.

Sid somewhat clumsily settled into work.  He had developed a casual business style over the past few years.  He knew when appearance mattered, but when it came to the daily grind, his dress was pretty simple.  Given the conservative and formal presence of the Salt Lake office, Sid soon found himself spending money so his appearance would “be more appropriate”.  Wearing a shirt and tie to just go to an office, sit, talk on the phone, work on the computer and sit in meetings with other coworkers seemed archaic to Sid.  Nonetheless, he did this to fit in to his new culture.

His coworkers were all very friendly, pleasant and helpful.  They all seemed to be very busy (like a bee), and indicted that their “plates” were always full, and seemed to value a job well done.  People were involved in many things and had a strong sense of community.  This seemed to be a characteristic of the Mormon culture as a whole and explains the state symbol, a beehive.

What was somewhat of a contradiction was that despite the formal appearance of the office, most people were always engaging in casual conversations, joking, chatting, etc. Not really a bad thing but Sid on the other hand was about work.  He wanted to get this new venture up and running.  He came to work and thus wasn’t always in the mood or had the desire to chitchat.  This was not a personal thing, just how Sid tended to work.  Probably developed this style as a result of working remotely over the past several years.  He had been on his own most of the time so really wasn’t used to “playing” so closely with others.

A definite annoyance that was kind of routine was that he would be in a conversation or meeting with someone, and another coworker would interrupt to ask a question and would totally disrupt the flow of the meeting.  This seemed to be acceptable behavior.  This seemed rude and discourteous to Sid.  The office just became a bad fit for Sid.  Over time, he began spending more time working at home.  Not because he didn’t like his coworkers, but because he was able to get more work done.  This was never truly understood by his employer.  They held the traditional belief that work was done in the office.

Over the course of the first year with his new company, Sid traveled a fair amount creating new business connections and implementing programs.  In fact, he spent about 30% of his time away from “home”.  This made it difficult to establish any true sense of flow, routine and belonging that made it more challenging to develop friendships, relationships and knowledge of his new environment.  Combine this with pressure to turn a profit, business activities moving in directions that didn’t thrill him, and basic personality differences with co-workers that made every decision or conversation seem like such an effort, Sid just withdrew.  He became tired.  He began thinking that It should not be this hard and was losing the fun and enjoyment that his work used to bring.  He was beginning to wonder if he would ever experience the fullness and richness of life he had when he first moved to Seattle.

Nicole went to the University of Washington and graduated with a Bachelors degree in Wildlife Sciences with a Minor in Conservation of Wildland Resources.  She obtained her law degree (specializing in Environmental and Natural Resource law), from Lewis and Clark College, located in Portland, Oregon.

She is attractive with somewhat Mediterranean features, shoulder length dark brown hair, olive skin, soft, greenish eyes, prominent cheekbones and small bone structure.  She is 5 feet 5 inches tall, thin yet curvy, toned but not overly muscular.  If she were a car, she would be a Porsche Carerra 4 convertible.

Nicole is an avid hiker, a fan of the arts (she acted a little in high school and college), paints and draws to relax, and is a fan of the Lilith Fair. She enjoys New York Times’ Bestsellers, is a member of the Sierra Club, and shops for cloths at Nordstroms, REI, and L.L. Bean, definitely an interesting mix.  She  frequents “local” coffee houses, takes public transportation when possible, drives a manual VW Jetta TDI (gets 46 miles to the gallon of course), loves animals, speaks Spanish, wears minimal make-up, watches Seinfeld reruns, likes to follow sports and jogs a few times a week.   Yes, she is quite the woman…totally awesome.

During college and graduate school she used to run 4-6 miles per day and would participate in marathons 2-3 times a year.  When asked she would say that running was never something she loved initially, but it kept her thin and she liked the endorphin rush that would come with it.  She started to jog at “The U” as they call it, with some friends and it just turned into an obsession.   She had to do it.   Her lifestyle began to revolve around it.

In and of itself, this was probably fine, however over time she started to become more anxious, self-conscious, moody and depressed and very focussed on her physical appearance.  Running literally ran her life.  Normally a social person, she began to avoid large social gatherings and didn’t go out much.  Occasionally she would go out to dinner with friends, but she was always concerned about what she ate and just picked at her food.

Denise became worried when Nicole was often complaining of fatigue, frequent constipation and amenorrhea.  Richard was convinced that Nicole was so tired from all the exercise, that her mood swings and anxiety were due to the normal stressors of college life, grades, relationships, partying etc.  That all this stuff just messed up her system.  They agreed it would be best if Denise talked with her.  Convince her to ease up on the exercise and see if they could find way to help her relax a bit.

It came to a head when Denise went to visit Nicole at her apartment after work the following day.  This was generally a weekly occurrence since her office was so close to where Nicole lived.  It was about 5:15 when she arrived.  There was no answer when she knocked, so she let herself in with the key Nicole had given her.  Class usually ended around 3, so Nicole would get home, change and run for about an hour and-a-half or so, usually getting home about 5:30 give or take. Denise figured she was out running and would be back soon. She collapsed onto the sofa with a sigh and closed her eyes briefly.  It had been a long day and she wanted to prepare herself for the conversation she was about to have.

As she opened her eyes and looked around, she noticed 3 pints of empty ice cream containers sitting on the table.  Kind of strange.  Next she heard a bellowing sound coming from the bathroom.

“Nicole?  Is that you?  Are you home?”

No answer?  More bellowing sounds.

“Nicole?”

She got up and went towards the horrific sound.  She peered nervously into the bathroom and saw Nicole on her knees, hovered over the toilet.

“Oh my God, sweetie what’s wrong?  Are you OK?”

“I’m fine!” She screamed shamefully, tearfully.

“But you’re sick.  What’s wrong?  You don’t look fine!.” Denise squealed.

Then Nicole’s secret became not so secret anymore.  After a lot of arguing, screaming, denying and accusations, Nicole soon found herself at the doctor the following day and was diagnosed as having Bulimia.  Wonderful.  With an unyielding presence, Denise took charge. Within a a few days, Nicole was in therapy twice a week, saw a nutritionist weekly, was taking Fluoxetine and was enrolled into a “Body-Image” support group.

Nicole had a friend in high school that died suddenly, actually she committed suicide, and was known to have Bulimia.  So Nicole’s initial resistance was more out of personal shame.  This also explains Denise’s tenacity in approaching the situation head on.  Nicole knew what could happen and knew she needed help.  She in some weird way was glad Denise found her that day.  Found out her secret.  She was lucky and even more fortunate that she was willing to get help.  Over the next 3-4 years, by the end of law school, Nicole was doing pretty well.  She still went to a therapist weekly and was still on medication, but the binging and purging had stopped.  She exercised moderately, ate healthy and overall felt good.

OK, so you’ve heard the worst.  Now for the great and special things about Nicole.  She bites her lower lip when she concentrates, snuggles her pillow as she sleeps, taps her pen on the desk as she reads, gargles twice a day, measures the temperature of the water when she makes coffee in a french press  – 195°F -200°F, “cracks” gum while chewing, taps the window while pointing at something as she drives, eats corn one nibble at a time, hums while getting dressed, drives fast, likes infomercials, watches Martha Stewart, reuses plastic bags for weeks at a time, sings off tune and thinks she knows the lyrics, but doesn’t, eats peanut butter out the jar with a spoon, hiccups after her first sip of beer, wears pajamas, laughs at Seinfeld reruns even though she has seen them all before, tilts her head slightly to left when asking a question, brushes her teeth for exactly 2 minutes, and when she sneezes, it is more of an implosion than an explosion.  She is very competent and passionate about her work, more on the intense side, is goal-oriented and always looking to improve herself.

While very attractive, she is somewhat shy with waning self-confidence when it comes to her personal life.  She was engaged once, while in law school, to one Michael Feinstein, an arrogant self-serving son-of-a-bitch who went on to become an “accident chaser” in California.  Nicole describes him now as “the loser” and to this day can’t figure out what she saw in him.  Her puzzlement is how, given her values and beliefs, she was attracted to someone who feeds off the tragedies of others.   They met at a party in the fall of her Freshman year at Lewis and Clark.   Michael, in his third year, was a good-looking,  smart, self-confident guy who showed interest in Nicole and pursued her.  Persistently.  She was flattered.

Given her demureness, she really did not date much and was quickly overtaken by emotions, lust, sex, companionship and passions – both of the heart and intellect. They moved in together prior to Nicole’s second year and were engaged shortly thereafter. It was a whirlwind type of relationship.

As grace was on Nicole’s side, the engagement was short-lived and things came to an abrupt end shortly following the the new year.   At the time, Michael was actively involved in the law school’s mentoring program for first year students. Nicole arrived home early one day and caught him doing some “pro-boner” work for a first year hottie.   He was out of their place the next day and 4 months later graduated and was gone, gone, gone……  Good riddance!  That’s the one thing Nicole does not tolerate…..a cheater.

Nicole is close to her family.  She usually visits them 3 to 4 times a year.  Her siblings still live in the Northwest (Seattle and Portland), and her parents moved from Bellevue to a smaller house on Mercer Island earlier this year.  Her father was an engineer at Boeing for 25 years and took an early retirement about a year ago as a result of all the layoffs.  Given this and the rise in value of the housing market (they purchased their Bellevue home 29 years ago for $90,000 and sold for $800,000!), they are pretty much set in their new place.  Her siblings are avid skiers and her parents love indie films (The Sundance Film Festival), so they all visit Nicole a couple times a year as well in the winter months.

Nicole gets a lot of her character from her mom who has taught sociology at The University of Washington for 20 years.  Denise always encouraged Nicole to pursue her dreams and fostered an independence that has established a solid sense of self-reliance.  This has occasionally interfered with her desire to develop or pursue relationships whether this be friendships or love interests.  Given her independent nature, it’s kind of strange that her confidence wavers though.  Just one of those complexities about life.

If you ask what her “mate” would be like, act like, etc., this is what she would tell you, “good-looking” (whatever that means), tall, at least 5 feet 10 inches, athletic build – broad shoulders, dark hair, blue eyes, smart, funny, confident, liberal-minded, creative, likes to travel, outdoorsy, honest with good values and ethics (as if anyone wants a criminal for a partner), flexible, family-oriented, spiritual, sensitive to conservation efforts, likes art, a soul-mate ( come on, really….), a “prince charming who sweeps me off my feet”, the best listener, a best friend.   A simple order.  Get real.

Nicole dates on occasion but doesn’t go out with any one person routinely.  Most of her suitors are through “recommendations” from friends who say that you have so much in common that I thought you would be perfect together. Yeah right.  Being single was about all these people had in common with Nicole.   She has tried several dating services including the latest in “electronic” dating.  She’s not much for the bar scene or club scene.  This was OK in college, but doesn’t work for her anymore.

Most of her “best” friends are back in the Northwest however she has made some pretty good friendships (male and female) at the firm.  They all go out for drinks or dinner, an occasional movie or Jazz game, hiking, skiing and the typical work-related functions.  She is generally happy, financially secure, and content with life.  She does feel somewhat void of something, but is not able to articulate what this is specifically.

Salt Lake City is a pretty interesting place, overall.  It was not her intent to move to Utah following graduation.  It just kind of happened.  Given her legal specialty, she needed to find a firm that would support her interests and beliefs.  After interviewing with a lot of great firms, S, B & S offered a position with the most opportunity to practice what she believed in as well as provide the potential to have influence on where S, B & S was going as a firm in the future.  In addition, Nicole visited Bryce and Zion Canyons as a kid and was always fascinated by their unique combination of colors, shapes, jagged edges, soft features and golden southwest light.

So she figured it would not be such a bad place to move to.  She really did not have a true sense of the unique culture, The LDS Church, when she moved there.  People made funny comments, but she shrugged these off as she usually does when people offer their opinions without being asked.  Plus, she likes to make up her own mind about things.  A good quality.  One of the things she heard most was “Be careful, they’ll try and convert you.”  Prosthelytizing is something Nicole really loathes.  While being raised in a Jewish household, she tends to be more spiritually forgiving when it comes to religion and likes to find goodness and value in people, not in the type of faith people practice.  From her perspective, trying to “convert” people sends a message of superiority and rubs her the wrong way.  Imagine going into another culture with the purpose of converting them to “your” way of life.  What an egotistical approach to life!

In the 3 years Nicole has lived in Salt Lake City, no one has ever tried to convert her, although she lives in the city itself, where the population of Mormons is less than in the surrounding communities.  She is probably more irritated about the drinking laws and the ultra-conservative nature of the community than anything else.

Her work tends to focus a lot on water rights, land development (or land destruction as she calls it), and preservation of wild spaces.  She is always surprised that people don’t realize that Utah and the majority of the West for that matter is desert.  In fact it was the Mormons who developed irrigation to a science and became so proficient at it.  This happened why?  Because Utah is a desert.  Water had to be “pumped” in to make it a habitable place to live, a fact that is so easily overlooked.  People also like to drive Jeeps and other all-terrain vehicles throughout the unique landscape as if to conquer it.  Damage it as well.   Probably the biggest frustration is Glenn Canyon Dam and Lake Powel.  She views this as a complete destruction of history, culture and habitat.  So with all this stuff going on, Nicole feels she is “needed” here to help protect, conserve and save the environment.  A true and noble cause.

While she makes good money, she has not felt the need to buy a house and rents a 2-bedroom unit in an old Victorian home at the east end of the Avenues, an older part of town that has large homes with lots of character, tree-lined streets (yes planted long ago, why?  Because Utah is a desert), and tends to have  an overall liberal feel to the neighborhood.  She always thought that a house is something you buy as a couple, an old-fashioned thought and somewhat of a contradiction given her independent and self-sufficient nature.

But enough of these silly tales, lets discuss why we are really here, to discuss Him, Steven Ira Denberg, or, as he is known to all of us for obvious reasons, Sid (although some would say it’s because of his occasional “viscous” sense of humor….However, Siddhartha may be equally appropriate…).

The son of Harry and Elaine, grandson to Milton and Irene, Morris and Marion, Sid is the output of diverse, yet complimentary genotypes.  He is a handsome, athletic, intelligent, creative and a motivated young man of 38 years.  He stands 5’ 8” tall, weighs in at a solid 155 pounds, lustrous black hair with a natural wave, dark, intense but sensitive eyes, cleft chin, muscular build, all resting on a small to medium frame.  If he were a car, he would be a BMW “M” series.

In case you were wondering about his names, Ira was the first relative to come over to the States from Kiev back in 1897.  It’s only fitting that a great grandson be named after him, however as Harry and Elaine were a little more hip with the times, they thought it would be best to save Ira for the middle.  Good choice.  Perhaps the one true act of kindness demonstrated by his father.  Steven comes from the mutual friend that introduced Harry and Elaine back in college.

His sense of humor could be dark at times, but usually sarcastic and quick witted.  There is no mal intent associated with his comments, but if you didn’t know him, you may think he was being callous or perhaps a jerk.  He is direct, sensitive and can be insecure.  While usually good-natured and even-tempered, he does have a side that is a little ugly.  One of the things he is “working on”.  That’s right working on.  You know doubt have things you are working on as well.  Unless you are one those in denial types.  Anyway,  his natural affect may be a little depressed, but with 10 mg of Lexapro taken once daily, this does not seem to interfere with things anymore.  At times he can be easily distracted and likes to move around.  He gets bored with the routine of life.  He has never been married or engaged and has no children.  And no he is not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that….

Some, OK many, would say he was too picky when it came to women.  Who knows.  What’s picky anyway?  His particular selection criteria went beyond just members of the opposite sex.  He was selective about his gear.  Perhaps excessive.  Perhaps ridiculous.  But this really depends on who you talk to.  Usually this type of person surrounds himself with other like-minded gear (and relationship), freaks.  This helps in the justification process.  It was a bonus when your friends could help and support you in rationalizing anything.   Decisions made regarding gear purchases were not taken lightly either.  This involved commitment.   Sometimes no decision was better than buying the wrong gear or one that just was lacking in this or that feature. Of course it didn’t matter that 99% was good.  No, it was that 1% that truly mattered.  A deal-breaker.  I guess this does apply to his relationships (or lack of), as well.

Sid currently works as a photographer.  This is not his first career.  It’s kind of a random story as to how he came to do this for a living.  We’ll get to that later.  He studied rehabilitative medicine and practiced for over 12 years.  A couple of years ago he began a new company with some friends and it was going pretty well.  Sid had a vision of where he wanted things to go however, for multiple reasons the majority of which were out of his control, things got diverted and the company’s direction veered Right, only Sid wanted to go Left.  This just seemed to snuff out his passion.

His coworkers were all good people.  But strong wills, impatience and ignorance from the parent company, not to mention their fundamentally different beliefs and at times odd behavior, created disharmony.  Combine that with Sid’s immaturity in some areas, disappointments from being an idealist and at times being overly sensitive, and the situation became to be too much for him to want to deal with.  No more fun.  Plus, sometimes things just don’t fit and they naturally run their course.

So Sid was considering a change and was just waiting for the opportunity.  And just as easily as some things don’t work, some things just fall into place.  This happened one fall day following a trip to the bookstore, a frequent past time of his.  Sid loved reading…and learning.

He came across a book “Ghost Rider”, written by drumming idol, Neil Peart, the drummer and lyricist of RUSH, his favorite rock band throughout high school.  The band’s album, “A Farewell to Kings” was Sid’s launching pad from the disco era.  Somehow Sid got hooked into playing this type of music in junior high.  He was a green freshman, drug-free at the time, sitting on his sister’s bed (she had the killer stereo),  playing her copy of the heavy-hitting, rhythmically orchestrated, fantasy driven and epic stylings of RUSH.  From the Bee Gees and the “Saturday Night Fever” era full of the same old hi-hat rhythms….open on 2 and 4 along with rhythm foundations punctuated by quarter-note bass drum beats….. to RUSH.   Wow!  Sid had a rhythmic hard-on that day that changed his life.

Neil Peart was a drumming GOD with great technical skill, control, precision, power and he was smart.  The guy read and read, and you read his lyrics and you knew he was different.  Where was I, oh yea, the book……

“Ghost Rider” was a writing about healing.  It discussed the recent tragedies that occurred to the author, the death of his teenage daughter and wife all within months of each other.  Numb from life, he hopped on his motorcycle and toured the States.  The book was about his journeys to overcome the sadness and move on with his life.  A healing journey on all levels.

Sid was so touched by the book, he wrote the drummer, thanked him for sharing his life, thanked him for inspiring his life during his childhood and now as an adult with this book, and mentioned that anytime he needed anything he would like to help in whatever way he could (like someone in his position would ask Sid for help!).

Well sure enough, a couple of months went by and the drummer wrote back.  Yes it’s true, crazy huh? Before he knew it, Sid was on tour with the band for 7 months and 32 shows.  He photographed everything.  Given his background, he also helped out with an elbow problem Neil had that affected his drumming.  This phenomenal opportunity was an answer to Sid’s prayers.  All due to a simple letter of thanks.  The power of the attitude of gratitude…… Don’t worry.  More to come on this adventure in a little while.

Sid has always been a loner.  Probably the result of something from his childhood.  Isn’t it great to be able to blame it on something?  And childhood is the popular thing these days, along with parents. Being comfortable with one’s self in many ways, insecure in other ways, generally self-reliant, allowing closeness up to a point, being introspective, quiet, shy, just seemed to be his way.

His father died when he was 16.  Three years prior to this, Harry and Elaine were divorced.  Harry had been unhappy for a long time and had many acts of infidelity.  In addition to being a poor husband, Harry was a poor father and was a non-existent entity for his only son.  Not a good role model for Sid in terms of being a good guy.  Being somewhat of an ass, well that’s another story.

Harry “worked” all the time, never home in the evenings during the week except for the tension-filled dinner (he was a stickler on being served and what he was being served), gone on most Saturdays, but was around on most Sundays it seemed.  This quality at-home time was spent watching whatever sport was in season.  Family vacations, outings, projects, bonding and general togetherness just didn’t happen.  Even the weekly dinner was spent with the television going so as to prevent the possibility of any meaningful communication from developing.  You got to hand it to The Dick VanDyke Show, The Andy Griffith Show and The Odd Couple.  The dinner-time trifecta. Where would Sid and his family been without them?

This paternal absence no doubt had many effects on Sid.  He had difficulty forming sound relationships with women throughout his teenage years which continued into his adult life.  As a young person he just didn’t know how to approach girls without having some idealized vision of them first.  This continued with age and seemed to include having unrealistic or unfair expectations in the other person. Add to this mix a difficulty expressing his emotions.  He could intellectualize feelings all day, but asked to show how he felt, well that was a different story.

During his therapy sessions following his last major love loss, he was described as having a repetition compulsion syndrome.  You gotta love all these terms they come up with.  This is best explained by Sid attempting to “solve” the relationship problems he had with his father through his relationships with women.  He would be attracted to unattainable and emotionally unavailable women, who were ultimately for whatever reason, not able to be a giver in the relationship, just like his father.  He would endlessly try and do whatever he could to gain their love, companionship and commitment.  Something that  would never be possible with these women.

Ultimately, this would lead to nothing but heartache, anger, frustration and disappointment for Sid.  Finally after he completely gave up all of who he was and had no self-respect left, he would become pissed off enough to leave the relationship.  His therapy sessions helped him to better recognize this pattern and be able to recognize the “red flags” or personality traits in potential partners that lead to this compulsion.  Well that’s the theory he’s going with anyway….

He has been alone for a while.  Perhaps in his mind the better of two evils.  For the past several years, prior to Sid’s recent vocational switch, he traveled a lot for work.  Never really establishing solid roots.  In a 10-year period, Sid moved 4 times to 3 different states.  Moving around, being flexible and willing to do “what it takes to get the job done”, trying to please.  Not conducive to creating balance and harmony in one’s life, or at least not for Sid.

In lieu of this, Sid was generally likable, pleasant and trust-worthy and could form friendships although he was more comfortable and preferred to have a few close friends as opposed to having lots of acquaintances.

He always developed relationships with paternal figures rather easily, whether this was teachers, senior coworkers and the like.  He also was able to step into a paternal role rather easily such as with nieces and nephews, friend’s kids, etc.  This was a little strange that given his upbringing and interesting given that he rejected the notion of having his own children.

Elaine tried to be the dutiful mother over the years, but Sid really needed and wanted his father’s love and understanding.  He often rejected Elaine’s love or dismissed it, not maliciously in Sid’s mind, but it just wasn’t what he wanted.   Plus, Harry treated Elaine like shit from what Sid could remember, and like father, like son.  Sid became more aware of this as an adult and felt terrible.  Just more stuff for him to work on.

Let’s see, lot’s of stuff, disharmony, discontent and general dissatisfaction for Sid regarding family and relationships.  Unhappiness.   Plus he was alone or is lonely a better word to describe him?  Why?  This is a great question.  Why?  What or who was standing in his way?   Sometimes we are told stories about ourselves when we are young.  Depending on who tells the story, we often believe them.  But what if the stories have no merit?  What if they are false?  What do we do?  How would we know?

Who am I?  I’ve known Sid for what seems to be a lifetime.  Friends since early childhood and confidants through out life.  We’ve been there for each other through all the ups and downs, or as I have heard mentioned here in Salt Lake City, we cut our teeth on the same fence post. Now there’s an image for you huh?   We have the kind of relationship in which one can start a sentence and the other can finish it as if the thought was spoken fluently from a single person.

We share our deepest thoughts, desires, indiscretions, successes, failures, disappointments, fantasies and pipe dreams.  It now seems only natural that I be the one to share his story with you….

The early morning is dark yet light at the same time.  When the fresh blanket of  white, crystalline snow reflects the atmospheres light, it’s dark yet light at the same time.  I didn’t know it was supposed to snow during the night.  No matter really, just a surprise that’s all.

Time to get up and bring the car in for its 150,000-mile check up, or in my case, 156,455 miles.  Sometimes life gets in the way of taking care of the necessities, like maintaining one’s automobile.  Seems strange that I could let this happen given that I rely on my wheels so much.

Well today was supposed to be the day.  The day I was going to jump back on the exercise wagon.  My plan was to drop my car off at the Subaru dealer a couple of miles away and then jog home, the perfect distance for my re-entry into the world of fitness.  But the snow.  This does complicate things a bit.

As if trying to make excuses, like the snow, I got dressed in my gear anyway,  Polypropylene tee, 100-weight fleece pullover, Gore-Tex shell, loose-fit stretch pants, Thorlo socks and my trusty Gore-Tex, all terrain, Montrail Hurricane running shoes.  These shoes have a special sleeve rather than a “tongue”.  This helps to keep water, dirt or in my case snow out of my shoes, thus keeping my peds warm and toasty.  All this effort to dress, but alas, I have an excuse.  The snow!

I made the slow and slippery drive over to the dealership.  I was a little surprised that the plows had not been out yet.  Growing up in the northern suburbs of Chicago, it seems the plows were out in the early morning hours in preparation for the morning commute.  I guess here in Salt Lake it’s different.  Different is OK.

You might be thinking, “why take your car to the dealership?”  Well let me tell you, even though my car is a ‘98 and I didn’t purchase it here, I got tired of dealing with questionable mechanics and repeated visits and repairs for the same thing.  I figured that I would take my chances with the dealer…..Hmmm, take my chances, not a lot of confidence in those words is there?  Plus why assume the dealership is any better?  Oh how Naive you are grasshopper…

I arrived and handed my keys over to the service clerk’s large hands with bitten fingernails.  I wonder if this was a nervous habit or done out of boredom.  I was told I could get a ride from the shuttle and needed to wait in the waiting room.  Seemed like a logical place to wait.  Maybe I should jog??

I shared the room with 2 other “waiters”, a woman in her early forties, heavy-set, with neck-length brown hair wearing the ever so popular fleece vest, sweater and casual slacks, and a 30-something gentleman wearing jeans, a canvas jacket, like the one Carhart makes, only it wasn’t a Carhart, leather slip-on shoes with short, groomed hair and features.  We were all waiting, in the waiting room, for a ride.

The woman suddenly began complaining about her new, 1-month-old Outback.  She apparently has had multiple problems and visits to the service department in the past 4 weeks.  And we heard about it while we waited…..and waited.  She was very frustrated and believed she purchased a “lemon”.  That’s what she said.  Again & again.

I began to drift away in thought as she went on.  Why lemon?  Why not another fruit like cumquat?  Lemon is consumed on warm, sunny days to bring pleasure and quench one’s thirst, or with meringue to make pies or in Mexican beer to give it a lift.  Generally pleasant things don’t you think?  But what’s a cumquat?

Anyway, she was rambling on and on.  The other gentleman and myself were listening with the slightest of grins as if this would signify interest.

“…They told me they would check it out…” she said in a frustrated, irritated and disgusted manner.

“What did you want to hear?” said Mr. Leather slip-ons in the most matter-of-fact British accent.  A great comment I thought.  He continued, “Obviously, you were expecting to hear something different, what was it?”

I think Ms. popular fleece vest was taken aback.  She began fumbling with her words and making excuses.  At this point I decided to find out which direction they were headed, still thinking that it’s not too late to jog home.   She was going north and he was going south.  I was going north.  One car and these two are clearly headed and thinking in opposite directions on multiple level.

I continued to ponder……

“I would walk but in the weather…” Mr slip-ons added.

“I was planning on jogging, but in the weather…”   I added.

“I ran earlier this morning” he came back so matter-of-factly.  I could feel his words as if they had slapped me across the face.

No sooner than that, I bid my adieu and was out the door and quite happily on my way.  I think it was the guilt that put me over the edge, that and the thought of traveling with Ms. Popular fleece vest the complainer all the way home, that lifted me up and carried me out of the waiting room.  Good thing too.  For if I had waited and rode in the shuttle, I would not have seen one of the most entertaining pieces of snow-removal equipment known to mankind, the bombardier!

I was trudging home in the snow when there it was, a bright, shiny, newer and sleeker version of the tiny, yet powerful machine from the days of my childhood.  Hurling snow hundreds of feet (OK fine….. but it seemed like hundreds of feet all those years ago), making it safe for the pedestrian traveler to easily approach his or her destination in the otherwise snow-swept landscape.  The bombardier, the sidewalk’s answer to those huge, behemoth snow-hurling plow-trucks.

The man operating this rig was at least 300 pounds.  A marvel to witness, similar to seeing a person 6 feet 6 inches tall driving a tiny Geo Metro.  Kind of freakish.  Yet a testament to the utter power and capabilities of this stealth fighter of the cold white, crystalline powder.  Just another bit of evidence of the industrial revolution and the advancement of our culture…yes, I said advancement of our culture and I’ll gladly stand by that statement.

I made it home but needed to walk a bit.  OK, so I was about to bust a lung and I scared passers by with my loud breathing, so what?  Very short of wind from lack of activity, asthma, altitude, plodding through several inches of snow, recovering from a cold, all these obstacles, but I made it home.  That’s the key thing.  I even had the energy to shovel the driveway, front steps and sidewalk.

When done, I felt pretty good about this bit of activity too.  Pride.  Yes pride.  “I ran earlier this morning” said Mr slip-ons, well I have a couple of choice words for your arrogant ass… piss off old boy!